Back from CA With 2nd Ultrasound Results

Wow, the past week seems like a blur to me. Our trip to CA went by so fast and I can't believe I'm back in NC, away from my beloved family once again. Though the reason for flying out there was not a good one, I looked forward to the trip. Seeing my mom, brothers, sisters, niece, nephews, and old friends felt incredibly nice. After the sad goodbye tears to my step-dad, there were more tears, but tears of joy from my PG news (not everyone knew about it).

I had explained to them all that we could not see embie B's heartbeat during the first ultrasound, but we were hopeful. They told me not to worry - that everything would turn out all right. It was comforting to have everyone be so positive because it helped eased my worries tremendously. I have to admit that just about every few minutes, I thought and prayed for that embie no matter what I was doing. (Was it selfish of me when the focus should have been on my step-dad? I hope he can understand and forgive me . . . I was so afraid to come home to more bad news.)

Well, I had my second ultrasound early Thursday morning. I went there alone and still quite nervous about the results of embie B. When we saw the heartbeat of embie A again, that relaxed me somewhat. I held my breath as she moved the wand lower in search of the other one and wished fiercefully inside my head, "PLEASE, LET IT HAVE A HEARTBEAT! PLEASE, LET IT HAVE A HEARTBEAT!" When she found embie B at first, it didn't look like there was anything happening but as she held the wand still, I saw a light flicker coming from the center of it. I thought I had imagined it so I yelled out like a madwoman, "Can you see that little flicker? Is that the heartbeat? Is it?!" I'm sure she wanted to tell me "hush" and let her do her job but she just said, "It looks like it. Let me get the rate."

As it turned out, I was NOT imagining it and that WAS embie B's heartbeat!! Oh, you would not believe the amount of relief and joy I felt. I really wanted L. to be there with me, but since he was not, I called him immediately after the appt. and gave him the good news. Embie A's heartbeat measured at 124 bpm and Embie B's measured at 117 bpm, which makes sense because embie B is growing a couple of days behind. At that time, I didn't know if these were good numbers - I was just glad to see heartbeats on both of them! When I met with my R.E. to go over the ultrasound later, she didn't say anything was wrong with those numbers. She just congratulated me again and sent me on my way. I'm guessing the heartbeats are normal.

Currently, I am doing everything in my power to stay healthy to ensure that my embies thrive. Ever since I got the call last week from my OB that my blood test revealed I am anemic (again), I have been taking vitamins (Flintstones because the prenatal pills make me throw up) and an extra iron supplement called Slow FE. I've noticed a change in my energy level. For the most part, this PG has been pretty good to me. I've only began having morning sickness a few days ago, but that goes away right after I eat something. The only other noticeable thing is that my boobs are still sore all the time. If it continues this way, I'll be the happiest PG woman in the world.

By the way, once I get past 12 weeks, I am planning on updating on a new blog. I don't know what it'll be called yet but I will let everyone know. I wouldn't want to keep updating on this one since the name will no longer be appropriate. And I don't want to change the title on this one. This one represents a chapter in my life that I do not want to erase or delete.

I REALLY, REALLY want to thank ALL OF YOU for being there for me all this time and and possibly in the future (I can't stress this enough!) I totally understand how hard this can be for some as I have been where you are for a very long time myself. There were days when I didn't feel like reading about other people's success. And even when I felt strong enough to click on their site again, it still stung to read about their updates. The one thing that kept me strong enough to keep reading was the hope and faith that it would be my turn one day. If I lose some of you as readers, I will totally understand. But I hope that you'll stay because it is also due to all of you, esp. those who have been coming to support me week after week, that gave me the wisdom and courage to get this far. I am still praying for your miracles too.