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New Blog on Typepad!

Hi friends. Please visit me at my new blog, Heart and Soul. Address is http://katieandlife.typepad.com. Like many of you, I've had it with Blogger. I can't do anything these days. Looking forward to seeing you all over there. Thanks.

16 Week Update

Something is definitely wrong with Blogger. I created a new blog called Heart and Soul, but somehow when I go to check it, it's telling me that it's not found. So, I guess I'll continue to update here until they fix it or I decide to change the name on this one, whichever one comes first.

Well, currently I am 16 weeks. This Thursday, I'll turn 17 weeks and that will be the *BIG* ultrasound day (I hope anyway). We'll finally get to find out if we're having one of each sex or two of the same. Whatever they are, just PLEASE let them both to be happy and healthy! I'm aware of the many things can go wrong with twins and I am always cautious and nervous.

I've been watching a lot of Discovery Health lately, especially the baby shows, and some of that stuff scares the crap out of me. Just yesterday, I watched Medical Incredible (if I remember the name correctly). They had a woman who stopped breathing and came so close to death while in labor. Her baby's amniotic sac had torn and some of it leaked into her blood supply. Her body reacted with severe allergic reactions and her blood started to clot in her heart. Then all of her blood turned into jello and nothing was pumping or flowing the way it should. She was bleeding everywhere! The doctors thought she had very little chance of surviving, and if she did, she would suffer brain damage. Luckily, they performed an emergency C-section and saved her baby. Well, after the baby came out, miraculously, her body started correcting itself and she made it. All of the doctors were amazed. Usually, you don't come out of something like and still be the same as you were. It was truly scary to watch.

On to maternity clothes now. Two weeks ago, I bought my very first maternity outfits. I know I'm not showing that much yet, but all of my pants have gotten very, very snug and it's quite uncomfortable. The thing that I found out was that there's not a lot of maternity clothes out there for women who are early on in their pregnancies. Like 98.9% of them are made for women who are 7-9 months pregnant. So, I had to purchase some tops that were a size smaller than what I would normally get. As for the pants, I got my usual size even though they were a little loose. I know I'll fill them out in no time though. God, they are SOOOOOOO comfortable! I need to go find more maternity stores and buy a bunch more! I just know I'll be wearing these out so fast.

I have been wanting to post my ultrasound pics but apparently, our scanner is upset at us. It's giving me some trouble so I'll try again later. I'm planning on putting all of my ultrasound pics in a scrapbook of my babies. I want to remember everything, from the very beginning when they were just a bundle of cells with a flickering in the middle as their hearts to the day I give birth and get to hold them in my arms. They are my heart and soul, and I don't want to miss a thing.

By the way, here are some of my PG symptoms that I don't believe I have mentioned before:

* dark areolas & a weird texture at the bottom of each breast
* constipation (this sucks! the Colace helped a little)
* burping all the time (hmmm . . . could this be related to the constipation perhaps?)

What I don't have yet are the food cravings. I guess it'll hit me later. I don't know if I really want that. I'm afraid what I might be craving will not be good for me.

I guess this is all I have for now. And I'm sorry I haven't been updating as often as I used to. My husband went and messed up our computer with a whole lot of spyware and adware. That stinker! I think we fixed most of it, but I still have problems from time to time. It just hasn't been as fun getting on the net these days.

It's for REAL!

Yesterday, I believed.

Up til this point, I knew I was pregnant because of state my body is in, but a small part of me was still in denial. I wanted undeniable proof (yes, I know - I'm always wanting and needing more but you can't blame me). Well, I definitely got it. My appt. yesterday was only supposed to be a regular OB appt. with no ultrasound. When the nurse wasn't sure she was hearing two different heartbeats, I kind of panicked. But she said she would have the sonographer give me a quick ultrasound scan to make sure there are still two heartbeats. This scan, like I said, was supposed to be quick and simple - no measurements, no details, and no pictures for me. Disappointed but still, I was glad they were making sure.

Long story short, the sonographer ended up giving me the whole nine yards. Her reason was because baby B's water sac was smaller than baby A's so she wanted to take measurements of everything and make sure all was well (which my doc said there was nothing to be concerned about at this point . . . my babies were both growing normally - actually, baby A was growing a couple of days ahead of schedule and baby B was right on target . . . but just to be safe, they will give me another u/s in 3 weeks - I'm all for that!). I think the sonographer's real reason was because she sensed my anxiousness and paranoia and she wanted to help. She was so understanding the entire time I was expressing my concerns to her. It's very rare you get one that actually cares about what you're going through.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the pictures I saw on the monitor brought me to tears. Yes, I'm only 2 days shy of 14 weeks but I saw little heads with little arms and legs! I even got profile shots of them! What a sight! They looked so sweet. And they were moving quite a bit too. I was beyond stunned. I just sat there in pure bliss because it was the most amazing experience ever. I might post those pictures up later if my scanner behaves.

Now . . . I believe. There will be no more doubts in my mind from here on. There really are two small human beings forming inside of me. And I can't wait to meet them face to face. My two miracles. Only six more months to go . . . please be good and grow, grow, grow!

Music to My Ears

I heard both of their heartbeats this past Wed. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............... that was the sweetest sound in the world and music to my ears. I also found that if I lie very still and gently press my fingers where they are, which is very low in my abdomen, I can feel their heartbeats thumping away! Now, I'm pretty sure it's not my own because the heartbeats are very fast. Anyway, I'm just so excited that I have made it through the 12th week mark with no major issues. May the next two trimesters be as kind.

When I have a moment, I will start a new blog and post the link. Thanks for being there for me thus far!

13 Hours of Sleep is NOT Enough

First off, I am so glad to be able to post again. For a week, I was too tired to get online (again) then after that, we unhooked our computer and packed it so I was without access for about a week. And I can't use the work computer to post so it just sucked. I miss checking up on you ladies so much and I can't wait to do so.

Well, by the title of this post, you can probably tell I've been extremely tired lately. In the past weeks, I've had A LOT, and I mean A LOT of sleep but it is never enough. One day after work, I went straight to bed at 7:00 pm and didn't get up until 8:00 am the next day and I was still tired. All I think about at work is coming home and getting in bed. Mostly it's my fault for stopping the iron supplements but that shit makes me extremely constipated. My doc did recommend Milk of Magnesium but stuff makes me throw up worse than my own morning sickness. My body just didn't agree with its taste. Anyway, I had told myself I'd rather deal with the extra fatigue than to sit in the stall for 30 minutes suffering. Well today, I changed my mind and went back on the iron pills. There's too much to do around here for me to sleep all the time. I gotta have my energy back, even if it means I have to suffer again. L. will take a whole year to straigthen everything out by himself, and he'll complain every step of the way too. Most of the things are mine so I feel inclined to help.

Oh yeah, let me back up a little. Thanks for everyone who shared their stories with me from my last post. And thanks for all the great advice. Some of you ladies had some questions for me too. As for where my b-day gift certificate was to - it was to my favorite mall, which like I said was cool because I have to admit, I am a hard person to shop for. That's the safest thing for L. to get me, but the part that pissed me off was he didn't even include a card, which he knows I LOVE getting (for the messages they convey). Anyway, about the colors I choose for our house - it's all kinds of colors. Here's the breakdown:

Living room - light beige (I know, boring! but we wanted to keep one room neutral)
Dining room - red for the part below the chair rail and rose for the top part
Kitchen - yellowish beige, called Apple Crunch
Family room - lavender (this looks so nice with our cream-colored furniture)
Master bedroom - a beautiful yellow called Resort Tea Yellow (or something like this)
Nursery - soft yellow because we don't know what we're having yet
Guest bedroom - medium blue
Rec room - medium green
Powder room - same as kitchen

We're not sure about our master bath, the guest bath, and hallway yet. We'll do those much later on. Well, so far, we have only painted 3 1/2 rooms. The big painting weekend turned out to be a tiny one. My lovely husband, who by the way, is very good at and loves to communicate (insert laugh), failed to tell me that he had volunteered to work the ENTIRE weekend so he only had time to paint at night. Great! When I found out, I about flipped. I couldn't believe he had volunteered when there was sooooooooo much to do here! But like the loyal-always-going-the-extra-mile worker that he is, he put his job first. And guess what, he worked Sunday for free!!! Isn't that sweet and thoughtful of him?! I could've killed him! Needless to say, very little painting got done on the weekend. We spent the rest of the weeknights going back to the house and scrambling to get as much done as we could. There were some nights where he stayed up until 3:00 am and I until 1:00 am. That was really bad for me because I AM pregnant and very, very tired, like all the time.

On move-in day, there were still plastic coverings, paint buckets, rollers, tape, etc. everywhere! The men found it very difficult to get our large furniture up the stairs and so they put a few dents in our walls and doors, as well as scratches and other nasty marks. Oh and there were four kids here with their parents, so all up and down the walls on the stairs were little black fingerprints and footprints. We'll definitely have to paint over that section. Even though we've tried to clean it, I know it'll happen again when they come over, and with a darker color paint, it will be less noticeable.

It's been a week since we've been here, and like I said, we haven't done much. There is still so much to unpack and the stuff that's been unpacked needs to be organized. I totally hate this part of moving. I wish I could just snap my fingers and everything be in its place. I'm just too tired for this job. I guess it'll get done when it gets done. Oh yeah, and after we finish with everything, I will take pictures, scan them, and post them (wish I had a digital camera).

As for the discharge, the doc told me it was harmless (Thank God!!!!) She said if I don't see any red, I have nothing to worry about. Good thing because no red in sight . . . so far. Since the appt, it's actually gotten lighter - both in color and in amount. This Wed, I have another appt. to listen to their heartbeats (I will be 12 weeks on Thursday!!!) I simply am so excited and can't wait for it to be here. I want to move onto the second and third trimesters already! I can tell that my uterus is growing but it still just looks like I am just fat. I want people to be able to glance at me and know that there is a baby (or in my case, two babies) in there. That this little bulge is for a good reason. I am so anxious to see what they look like now on ultrasound. Don't the insurance companies/doctors know that an infertile like myself, I MUST see my babies on ultrasound every few weeks? It doesn't take but a few minutes and the reassurance is priceless. I still can't believe they only give ONE ultrasound throughout this whole pregnancy (unless there are complications). That just sucks.

Well, I think I've written enough. Sorry if I've put anyone to sleep. I have more to report but it can wait. I'm off to check your updates now!

My Crazy Week

Wow, I can't believe it's been two weeks since I've posted anything. I have been busy but mostly it's because I've been extremely tired and have been going to bed early. I finally feel a little better to get on the internet and post a few updates.

This Wednesday, we closed on our very FIRST house. We are officially homeowners now! After the closing, we went to Lowe's to pick out paint colors for all of the rooms. It took us (well, mostly me) several hours to do that part. There are just so many colors to choose from! I hope everything I picked out will end up looking great. We purchased 12 gallons of paint, which costs almost $300.00! With supplies, it ended up more than $400.00. This is the big painting weekend and it's going to be quite interesting as we have never painted before. I'm not even sure if we bought all of the right supplies, but my husband seems to think we'll be okay. Actually, I won't be doing much painting. I have to finish some homework for Monday's class and I also need to study for the midterm. So, my husband has enlisted the help of his cousin. He says if I feel like it on Sunday, I can go see if they need any help, but not to worry. They probably won't need me. I might just go over anyway, just to make sure they haven't ruined anything.

Yesterday was my 29th birthday. The weather was pretty nasty and all morning long, I didn't hear from L. to wish me a happy birthday. Finally, around 11:45, I called him up and asked him if he remembered what day it was. He responded casually, "Yes, it's your birthday."

"Well . . . . ," I said. And that's when he said "Oh yeah, Happy Birthday." Pitiful, right? That just got me angry because I did so much on his birthday to show him how special he was to me and on mine, he couldn't even take a minute to call me! He said he had been "busy." Sometimes, I feel like he's completely void of any human emotions and I just want to strangle or shake him to death.

Then when I got home from work, all he got me was a gift certificate. I mean that's nice but there was no card and no words of love. That was it - that's all that my birthday meant to him. At bedtime, I was still disappointed and pissed off at him so when he wanted some lovin, I pushed and I shoved and I kicked. The last thing I wanted was his mean, sweaty body all over me. I told him straight out how he had hurt my feelings and therefore, I didn't want to be intimate with him. He said he was sorry, but that he doesn't understand why I make such a big deal out of a birthday - it just represents people aging. He said he doesn't care about his and if I don't do anything, he wouldn't get upset at all. I told him I wasn't like him and that it is a very special day because it is the anniversary of one's birth. And because you're happy and grateful that your loved one was born on that day, you try to make them feel special, even if it's just with a few loving words. He didn't get it. (In case anyone's wondering, he wasn't this way when we were dating. If I had known he would be like this later on, I probably wouldn't have married him.)

Sometimes I don't know how I'm able to stay married to someone who clearly is so different from me. He is such a jerk and selfish bastard at times. Believe me, it is not easy being married to a man with few emotions. When I read about other women's husband's being to understanding and thoughtful, I get so jealous. My husband is FAR, FAR from that. When he does come close, it makes me want to document it because I know it won't happen again for a long, long time. Man, I've had my share of heartbreak and frustration with him but I guess I haven't been unhappy enough to leave. Maybe our children will teach him how to love a little better.

Needless to say, I had a pretty crummy birthday. Well, you know I'm not looking forward to next year's - just more of the same thoughtless shit.

Yeah, this week's been quite a week. I went from a high when closing on our first house to a very depressing low on my b-day. L. sure knows how to bring me down. Well, it's not going to get any better in the next few days. Like I said earlier, I have lots of homework and studying to do this weekend. Then on Tuesday, I have my 2nd OB appt and I'm kind of scared. This week, I've been noticing some yellowish-brown discharge and I'm worried. I know clear or milky discharge is normal but what about this? I guess I'll call my doctor on Monday and see what he says. I hope it's nothing serious. I'm currently 9 weeks and I REALLY want to make it to the 12th week mark with no other worries.

Well, I'll update again soon. Hope everyone is doing well.